Yesterday I got the gut feeling that I needed to call my mom. No one answered and I gave up without leaving a message - this is normal with my family. We leave messages only if it is an emergency, a birthday, and even then we might not.
My mom called back a couple hours later to tell me Chloe was at the vet and it didn't look good. She called me again later in the evening to tell me that they had decided to let her go, there was just too much going wrong and she was in too much pain.
Twelve years ago I got two kittens at 2.2 weeks old and bottle fed them. It was a rewarding and difficult experience, but so worth it. The black female kitten was named Chloe (for the song "Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns" by Mother Love Bone), and her gray brother was named James (for the song "Not Now James, We're Busy" by Pop Will Eat Itself).
James passed away a year and a half ago of congestive heart failure. About a year before that Chloe had been diagnosed with sinus cancer, and was given a couple of weeks to months to live - obviously she didn't agree, 'cause she lasted two and half years after the diagnosis and surgery.
Chloe was the first kitty to teach me about unconditional love, what it felt like to be gifted with it and to really give it. It was a bittersweet lesson for my 23 year old self, to realize the love I could have, maybe should have, understood was something a small black kitten had to teach me, rather than the people around me.
I used to get Chloe and James those kitty fishing poles, with the elastic strings and a fluffy critter on the end. Every time I got a new one, at some point Chloe would chew through the elastic and take off with the fluffy critter. Sometimes she would give it a bath in her water bowl, but one of her favorite things to do was put it in my mom's purse when she wasn't looking. My mother would find the toy later, usually while she was about to pay for groceries. Chloe had her way of showing her love.
So Chloe, my love, I will miss you so much. I thank you for your love, for taking care of my great-aunt through numerous surgery recoveries, for staying with my mom while my aunt was in surgery, for being brave and beautiful. You will always be in heart, Chloe-bug, I hope we will meet again.
My mom called back a couple hours later to tell me Chloe was at the vet and it didn't look good. She called me again later in the evening to tell me that they had decided to let her go, there was just too much going wrong and she was in too much pain.
Twelve years ago I got two kittens at 2.2 weeks old and bottle fed them. It was a rewarding and difficult experience, but so worth it. The black female kitten was named Chloe (for the song "Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns" by Mother Love Bone), and her gray brother was named James (for the song "Not Now James, We're Busy" by Pop Will Eat Itself).
James passed away a year and a half ago of congestive heart failure. About a year before that Chloe had been diagnosed with sinus cancer, and was given a couple of weeks to months to live - obviously she didn't agree, 'cause she lasted two and half years after the diagnosis and surgery.
Chloe was the first kitty to teach me about unconditional love, what it felt like to be gifted with it and to really give it. It was a bittersweet lesson for my 23 year old self, to realize the love I could have, maybe should have, understood was something a small black kitten had to teach me, rather than the people around me.
I used to get Chloe and James those kitty fishing poles, with the elastic strings and a fluffy critter on the end. Every time I got a new one, at some point Chloe would chew through the elastic and take off with the fluffy critter. Sometimes she would give it a bath in her water bowl, but one of her favorite things to do was put it in my mom's purse when she wasn't looking. My mother would find the toy later, usually while she was about to pay for groceries. Chloe had her way of showing her love.
So Chloe, my love, I will miss you so much. I thank you for your love, for taking care of my great-aunt through numerous surgery recoveries, for staying with my mom while my aunt was in surgery, for being brave and beautiful. You will always be in heart, Chloe-bug, I hope we will meet again.
On September 9 I was in a car accident, it was my fault. I tried to take a right hand turn into a parking lot, and hit a Ford instead. Initially, the only damage to my car was that I lost the front bumper, passenger light carriage, and the passenger side fender was crushed near the front. It didn't seem to be that bad - but I'm not a professional.
Yesterday the insurance company called and said it was probably totaled. I finally cried, but I had to hold my head together because I had to go to work. I lost my shit when I got home. I hold the blame, but I'm so happy that no one got hurt. The car protected me, but I wrecked it. I feel guilty and shameful still - not as bad as yesterday, but it still lingers. It is a form of mourning, and I'm not good at mourning. Today we got official word that it was a total loss.
Tomorrow we go to sign off on it and collect what was left in the car. Then over the next week or so, we'll make the decision on what the next car will be. I'll be honest, I loved the audi, and I'd love to get another one, but they are bloody expensive. For what that is worth, they are fantastic cars and beautiful to drive. The A4 was named Eddie, after the ships computer on the Heart of Gold from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
It hurts. I hate wrecking cars. I hate being in car wrecks. I hate the money involved, the time wasted, the paperwork, the running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I feel as though I'm covered with spikes and want to spit acid at anyone that gets too close, I'm not feeling very rational at the moment. My heart aches, but this is coming to a close and it is time to move on. I'll go tomorrow and thank Eddie for keeping me safe, for being a most excellent car. And maybe I'll cry.
Yesterday the insurance company called and said it was probably totaled. I finally cried, but I had to hold my head together because I had to go to work. I lost my shit when I got home. I hold the blame, but I'm so happy that no one got hurt. The car protected me, but I wrecked it. I feel guilty and shameful still - not as bad as yesterday, but it still lingers. It is a form of mourning, and I'm not good at mourning. Today we got official word that it was a total loss.
Tomorrow we go to sign off on it and collect what was left in the car. Then over the next week or so, we'll make the decision on what the next car will be. I'll be honest, I loved the audi, and I'd love to get another one, but they are bloody expensive. For what that is worth, they are fantastic cars and beautiful to drive. The A4 was named Eddie, after the ships computer on the Heart of Gold from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
It hurts. I hate wrecking cars. I hate being in car wrecks. I hate the money involved, the time wasted, the paperwork, the running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I feel as though I'm covered with spikes and want to spit acid at anyone that gets too close, I'm not feeling very rational at the moment. My heart aches, but this is coming to a close and it is time to move on. I'll go tomorrow and thank Eddie for keeping me safe, for being a most excellent car. And maybe I'll cry.
It's been a long time since I last wrote and a lot has changed.
One thing that hasn't changed is that I still continue to go to the dojo. Sword continues to be something I love, though I have not belt tested yet. Aikido continues to be a challenge. I often feel as though I am made of thumbs and left feet, but my stamina and balance have improved, so it seems to be helping, even in small ways. I love the challenges both give me, the lessons they teach, not only for myself, but for whoever I work with. I never believed I could enjoy a physical activity, but I've found something that works for me, that speaks to me.
( health and dietCollapse )
One thing that hasn't changed is that I still continue to go to the dojo. Sword continues to be something I love, though I have not belt tested yet. Aikido continues to be a challenge. I often feel as though I am made of thumbs and left feet, but my stamina and balance have improved, so it seems to be helping, even in small ways. I love the challenges both give me, the lessons they teach, not only for myself, but for whoever I work with. I never believed I could enjoy a physical activity, but I've found something that works for me, that speaks to me.
( health and dietCollapse )
This last week was an adventure. My best friend's oldest (niece by way of chosen family) came to visit as part of her 16th birthday gift. She arrived on the 3rd and stayed until this morning.
( Summer vacation, the abridged additionCollapse )
( Summer vacation, the abridged additionCollapse )
So today's headache is brought to me by Tension - meaning frustration and just stuff.
My frustration is stemmed by the people questioning me. Questioning my commitment to Sparkle Motion™. Sparkle Motion™ could be anything in life, but it makes it more colorful to put that in the place of X. My commitment to anything is a very personal thing. I failed at being a Christian, because I didn't want to be a hypocrite (you can ponder that one for a bit). I failed at dating, 'cause I didn't want to string someone along. I failed at x, y, or z, because people questioned my motives, my choices, my commitment too goddamned much. And now I realize, fuck 'em. Let people question what I'm doing. Not my problem, because those questions aren't mine. I know what I'm doing, however well or badly I'm doing at it. It's my choice to do it, and whether not I become the best Sparkle Motion™ dancer is between me, myself, and I.
See, it's one of those things. I'm not hurting anyone else by my choice of this commitment, it's completely mine. Sparkle Motion™ right now is sword. Yes, I realize I don't practice enough. I've never practiced enough at anything, but I'm trying. I'm giving it a chance. I'm not the best at physical things, I know this and realize that anything I choose to do is an uphill battle, but it's my fucking battle. No one else is going to suffer, if I suck at it. No one else is going to be sitting there with a bokken, while everyone else has graduated to steel. No one else is feeling like an idiot when I fuck something up. And it's glorious.
I used to play piano, and gods it was a struggle. I can't carry a tune in a bucket, and I'm pretty much tone deaf. I can read music, but I'm not so hot at timing, and yet, I still try. Yeah, right now I haven't played in awhile, mostly because anytime I have tried to play, E immediately wants to jam together. I appreciate his fervor and interest, but honestly, despite years of trying, I still suck. I play for enjoyment, because I can't play in a band or even really do well enough to do a recital. It takes time, energy, and desire for me to get a piece right and when I do, the pleasure is mine. If others want to listen, awesome, but my father made me shy about it, because every time I hit a sour note, he made sure to tell me. It got to a point that I'd tell him that he could play the goddamned thing, if he thought he could do better. That shut him right up.
Knitting, on the other hand, I can actually do better than almost anything else I've tried my hand at. For some reason pointy sticks and lengths of yarn can become something beautiful and useful. My own attempts at creating things have ranged from decent to gods awful. I love trying to make toys, but my attempts are hideous at best. I have a fuzzy green Cthulhu peanut-shaped thing with a red fez on - he's hideous, but I love him, because I made him. With time I might be able to create beautiful things, but at the moment, I still flounder.
Another thing I'm passably good at is picking out flavors. I attempt to cook, and sometimes it comes out awesome. Other times the idea was good, but the execution belongs in the gallows. I'm not so hot at the cooking part, which is why I'll point E in a direction and say, "Please, try this!" When I ask, usually the idea comes out pretty darned good, but when I do it, there is a 50/50 chance that it may end up awful.
So yeah, I'm not so hot at doing stuff. I try and somethings I'll continue blundering through until either a light bulb finally goes off over my head, or I decide that it is purely for my own enjoyment. Sometimes I quit, because well, it wasn't really my thing to begin with, and I realize that there is nothing wrong with that.
What I have gotten out of going to the dojo that is useful is amazing. Little things like opening jars for myself, being able to avoid tripping over things, being able to get off the couch without having to use my arms, actually being able to do a push up, and slowly upping my catching reflexes. These things are good, and things I notice. Do they really help others? Maybe in little ways, mostly time saving. But if this is the trade off I get for feeling like a three year old with a really large stick, then maybe the way I'm doing things isn't so horrible. I don't know if I'll ever be hardcore or a black belt, but that wasn't the goal. My goal has been to learn balance, to get in better shape, and finally defend myself, if I need to. I'd much rather warn someone off, than actually whack them with a broom, but if the situation presents itself, I know that I can at least get a good one in, before I run like a little girl and find someone bigger to help me.
My frustration is stemmed by the people questioning me. Questioning my commitment to Sparkle Motion™. Sparkle Motion™ could be anything in life, but it makes it more colorful to put that in the place of X. My commitment to anything is a very personal thing. I failed at being a Christian, because I didn't want to be a hypocrite (you can ponder that one for a bit). I failed at dating, 'cause I didn't want to string someone along. I failed at x, y, or z, because people questioned my motives, my choices, my commitment too goddamned much. And now I realize, fuck 'em. Let people question what I'm doing. Not my problem, because those questions aren't mine. I know what I'm doing, however well or badly I'm doing at it. It's my choice to do it, and whether not I become the best Sparkle Motion™ dancer is between me, myself, and I.
See, it's one of those things. I'm not hurting anyone else by my choice of this commitment, it's completely mine. Sparkle Motion™ right now is sword. Yes, I realize I don't practice enough. I've never practiced enough at anything, but I'm trying. I'm giving it a chance. I'm not the best at physical things, I know this and realize that anything I choose to do is an uphill battle, but it's my fucking battle. No one else is going to suffer, if I suck at it. No one else is going to be sitting there with a bokken, while everyone else has graduated to steel. No one else is feeling like an idiot when I fuck something up. And it's glorious.
I used to play piano, and gods it was a struggle. I can't carry a tune in a bucket, and I'm pretty much tone deaf. I can read music, but I'm not so hot at timing, and yet, I still try. Yeah, right now I haven't played in awhile, mostly because anytime I have tried to play, E immediately wants to jam together. I appreciate his fervor and interest, but honestly, despite years of trying, I still suck. I play for enjoyment, because I can't play in a band or even really do well enough to do a recital. It takes time, energy, and desire for me to get a piece right and when I do, the pleasure is mine. If others want to listen, awesome, but my father made me shy about it, because every time I hit a sour note, he made sure to tell me. It got to a point that I'd tell him that he could play the goddamned thing, if he thought he could do better. That shut him right up.
Knitting, on the other hand, I can actually do better than almost anything else I've tried my hand at. For some reason pointy sticks and lengths of yarn can become something beautiful and useful. My own attempts at creating things have ranged from decent to gods awful. I love trying to make toys, but my attempts are hideous at best. I have a fuzzy green Cthulhu peanut-shaped thing with a red fez on - he's hideous, but I love him, because I made him. With time I might be able to create beautiful things, but at the moment, I still flounder.
Another thing I'm passably good at is picking out flavors. I attempt to cook, and sometimes it comes out awesome. Other times the idea was good, but the execution belongs in the gallows. I'm not so hot at the cooking part, which is why I'll point E in a direction and say, "Please, try this!" When I ask, usually the idea comes out pretty darned good, but when I do it, there is a 50/50 chance that it may end up awful.
So yeah, I'm not so hot at doing stuff. I try and somethings I'll continue blundering through until either a light bulb finally goes off over my head, or I decide that it is purely for my own enjoyment. Sometimes I quit, because well, it wasn't really my thing to begin with, and I realize that there is nothing wrong with that.
What I have gotten out of going to the dojo that is useful is amazing. Little things like opening jars for myself, being able to avoid tripping over things, being able to get off the couch without having to use my arms, actually being able to do a push up, and slowly upping my catching reflexes. These things are good, and things I notice. Do they really help others? Maybe in little ways, mostly time saving. But if this is the trade off I get for feeling like a three year old with a really large stick, then maybe the way I'm doing things isn't so horrible. I don't know if I'll ever be hardcore or a black belt, but that wasn't the goal. My goal has been to learn balance, to get in better shape, and finally defend myself, if I need to. I'd much rather warn someone off, than actually whack them with a broom, but if the situation presents itself, I know that I can at least get a good one in, before I run like a little girl and find someone bigger to help me.
Would you uproot your life and move to another city for someone that you love?
I've done it (twice, for the same, wonderful man). I've been with him for 9 years and it's been completely worth it. The first year is always the hardest, but having the person I love with me just means that the move is an adventure.
I woke up with a headache today. I'm gonna blame that on the sudden arrival of summer and the last of the crazy pollen that California seems to drum up. While this sucked, I had a few good points to a day that could have really crappy.
First was, Jen posting her works in progress on her blog. She's making each of her bridesmaids a shawl and had us each pick our yarn, and our pattern. So I chose the yarn and chose a pattern that I love, but knew I would never do, and Jen, the crazy little creature she is, tackled it and added beads. But the pictures she took of it make me want to cuddle it. So shiny and pretty, she spoils us. I must plan proper retaliation. :)
Second, I got to talk with my niece on AIM. We just basically spent time talking about random things and just enjoying each other's company. I have to call her mom tomorrow, I have a bunch of stuff to share with her and I know she likes the phone calls a little more than the AIM messages, or spotty WoW conversations we have.
Third, I went to lay down, because of my headache, and the phone rings. I groan, but get up to get it, because E should be home soon. Sure enough it was him and I was greeted with, "Put on your pants and shoes and come outside. Don't ask any questions." I had my pants on thankfully, so I just needed to slip on my shoes. I grabbed my purse, just in case, and went out the door. He tells me we're going for a walk, that he wants to show me something. So he leads me up to the local park/pasture and I hear a sound. It's sounds like a baby animal.
My first thought was ooh, maybe there was a cow and a calf nearby, but no, there was an entire flock of sheep! Big ones, little ones, horned ones, and wooly ones! I did some research and found out that some of them are Jacob sheep (otherwise known as piebald sheep). A lot of the males had gnarly horns, and some of them had four! I'd never seen a sheep with four horns before! So we walked from one end of where there were to the other, a bit further up the hill. I stopped and oohed over the little ones. One little lamb was following it's mother around and decided it was time to nurse right then. I learned right then and there that lambs do not nurse gently, but at the same time, its little tail was wagging like a little fan. So very cute! I'm thinking of going and taking pictures tomorrow.
Other than that, things have been okay. It looks like this summer is going to be busy, between Josh visiting this weekend, the Fourth of July coming up, E having a business trip in July, my birthday, then E's mom coming to visit, and then maybe his sister coming out for a little bit. I hope that we can get at least one trip into San Francisco in, as well as Monterey. I want to be a proper tourist for a little while.
On the crappy front, need to get a home blood pressure thing so I can prove to my doctor that I do not have high blood pressure and that it's just my damned anxiety that made it seem wonky. She didn't pay attention to me saying I have white coat syndrome, but when the nurse came into take my bp again, she said it was on the high side of normal. I guess I need to buy the Honey Nut Cheerios™ for my cholesterol while I'm at it. The doctor said she didn't want to put me on blood pressure medication yet, because she feels it's a matter of when, not if. Thanks, like I need another pill on top of the plethora of other medications I have to take each day.
Thinking about the medications that I do have to take, while I realize that I could choose not to take any of them, only one is truly by choice, and that's my birth control. The allergy medicine is so I can sleep at night and the others are so I can try to be a productive member of society (because there is something like a very cuddly Hulk living in my head and it doesn't understand that we don't love like jackhammer, that's only for special people).
Speaking of society, think I'm gonna hit the knitting group tomorrow night. It's not far away, and I guess they were giving the local Starbucks enough sales, that the Starbucks recently closed for renovations and now has a lovely big table to one side and plenty of couches and coffee tables around. It should be very comfy.
And this concludes our spotty broadcast for today!
First was, Jen posting her works in progress on her blog. She's making each of her bridesmaids a shawl and had us each pick our yarn, and our pattern. So I chose the yarn and chose a pattern that I love, but knew I would never do, and Jen, the crazy little creature she is, tackled it and added beads. But the pictures she took of it make me want to cuddle it. So shiny and pretty, she spoils us. I must plan proper retaliation. :)
Second, I got to talk with my niece on AIM. We just basically spent time talking about random things and just enjoying each other's company. I have to call her mom tomorrow, I have a bunch of stuff to share with her and I know she likes the phone calls a little more than the AIM messages, or spotty WoW conversations we have.
Third, I went to lay down, because of my headache, and the phone rings. I groan, but get up to get it, because E should be home soon. Sure enough it was him and I was greeted with, "Put on your pants and shoes and come outside. Don't ask any questions." I had my pants on thankfully, so I just needed to slip on my shoes. I grabbed my purse, just in case, and went out the door. He tells me we're going for a walk, that he wants to show me something. So he leads me up to the local park/pasture and I hear a sound. It's sounds like a baby animal.
My first thought was ooh, maybe there was a cow and a calf nearby, but no, there was an entire flock of sheep! Big ones, little ones, horned ones, and wooly ones! I did some research and found out that some of them are Jacob sheep (otherwise known as piebald sheep). A lot of the males had gnarly horns, and some of them had four! I'd never seen a sheep with four horns before! So we walked from one end of where there were to the other, a bit further up the hill. I stopped and oohed over the little ones. One little lamb was following it's mother around and decided it was time to nurse right then. I learned right then and there that lambs do not nurse gently, but at the same time, its little tail was wagging like a little fan. So very cute! I'm thinking of going and taking pictures tomorrow.
Other than that, things have been okay. It looks like this summer is going to be busy, between Josh visiting this weekend, the Fourth of July coming up, E having a business trip in July, my birthday, then E's mom coming to visit, and then maybe his sister coming out for a little bit. I hope that we can get at least one trip into San Francisco in, as well as Monterey. I want to be a proper tourist for a little while.
On the crappy front, need to get a home blood pressure thing so I can prove to my doctor that I do not have high blood pressure and that it's just my damned anxiety that made it seem wonky. She didn't pay attention to me saying I have white coat syndrome, but when the nurse came into take my bp again, she said it was on the high side of normal. I guess I need to buy the Honey Nut Cheerios™ for my cholesterol while I'm at it. The doctor said she didn't want to put me on blood pressure medication yet, because she feels it's a matter of when, not if. Thanks, like I need another pill on top of the plethora of other medications I have to take each day.
Thinking about the medications that I do have to take, while I realize that I could choose not to take any of them, only one is truly by choice, and that's my birth control. The allergy medicine is so I can sleep at night and the others are so I can try to be a productive member of society (because there is something like a very cuddly Hulk living in my head and it doesn't understand that we don't love like jackhammer, that's only for special people).
Speaking of society, think I'm gonna hit the knitting group tomorrow night. It's not far away, and I guess they were giving the local Starbucks enough sales, that the Starbucks recently closed for renovations and now has a lovely big table to one side and plenty of couches and coffee tables around. It should be very comfy.
And this concludes our spotty broadcast for today!
- Current Mood:
exhausted
Yesterday was eventful and crappy. E had taken the day off so we could finally go and get our CA driver's licenses and I needed a blood draw after a 12 hour fast. Woke up in a fair bit of pain that stayed pretty constant through out the day. On a normal day, I would have told E that I needed to rest, but I wasn't going to waste that fast for being in pain. Went to the suggested lab, got all my information down, and had a very nice woman do a very fast, painless draw. I'm in love. It could also be because I drank a crazy amount of water, so my veins were easy to find.
After that we went out for breakfast and then realized we should get the check book before going to the dmv, ran back to the house so I could deposit the leftovers in the fridge and get said checks. Went back to the dmv, filled out our paper work and waited to be called up to start the process. It was a much quicker visit than the vehicle registration (cheaper too).
While waiting in line, an elderly man says to the woman in front of him, "Can you spell hard water with just three letters?" The woman looks baffled and asks me what he means (couldn't identify her accent - maybe russian?). The man chuckles and say, "Hard water with just three letters, I-C-E! Ice is definitely hard water!" The woman's eyes widen and she starts to giggle and thanks the man for making her day.
E gets his temp license while I'm waiting in line, and then I get handed my piece of paper that stands in for the license that will be mailed to me in 4-6 weeks (man, were we spoiled on the east coast, go into the dmv and get your license within an hour of getting your picture taken, totally miss that). But we are now officially inmates of the insane asylum that is called California. So bloody weird, I tell you.
Hopefully I'll know sometime in the next couple days where my thyroid numbers are at and how my blood sugar is. Then the doctor will hopefully adjust my meds and I can start feeling like a normal, not constantly moody, human. I'm really getting sick of the Jeckyll and Hyde act going on in my head. The idea of combustible lemons should not be embraced. ;)
After that we went out for breakfast and then realized we should get the check book before going to the dmv, ran back to the house so I could deposit the leftovers in the fridge and get said checks. Went back to the dmv, filled out our paper work and waited to be called up to start the process. It was a much quicker visit than the vehicle registration (cheaper too).
While waiting in line, an elderly man says to the woman in front of him, "Can you spell hard water with just three letters?" The woman looks baffled and asks me what he means (couldn't identify her accent - maybe russian?). The man chuckles and say, "Hard water with just three letters, I-C-E! Ice is definitely hard water!" The woman's eyes widen and she starts to giggle and thanks the man for making her day.
E gets his temp license while I'm waiting in line, and then I get handed my piece of paper that stands in for the license that will be mailed to me in 4-6 weeks (man, were we spoiled on the east coast, go into the dmv and get your license within an hour of getting your picture taken, totally miss that). But we are now officially inmates of the insane asylum that is called California. So bloody weird, I tell you.
Hopefully I'll know sometime in the next couple days where my thyroid numbers are at and how my blood sugar is. Then the doctor will hopefully adjust my meds and I can start feeling like a normal, not constantly moody, human. I'm really getting sick of the Jeckyll and Hyde act going on in my head. The idea of combustible lemons should not be embraced. ;)
Everything started Thursday, when we went to go to Sue's house and the car wouldn't start. We got a jump from our downstairs neighbor and went to hang out. Lisa made awesome shepherd's pie and we hung out and had a lot of fun. Car thankfully started and we made our way home.
Friday, E went to go to work, and the car wouldn't start again. Downstairs neighbor wasn't home, so he decided to work from home, until he could get another jump and then drive down to an autoparts store and buy a new battery. Jump was gotten, then we went to the store and proceeded to have fun getting the battery, getting the old one out, the new one in, and putting the second CA plate on the car. After that we went to In N Out burger, and went home. A couple hours later we made our way to the dojo.
We got to the dojo too early and E took part in the jiu jitsu class. The sensei is a tough old man, and decided to see what E was made of. Around seven the class, minus myself watching and E, went for their prayers. It was the first time I had heard a Muslim prayer and I was pleased to be able to listen.
The rest of the evening was E taking part in classes and me watching and finally coming home.
Saturday was more classes - aikido and sword. Then we went to the local mall and walked around and around and finally settled to eat at PF Changs.
Sunday we went to pick up Mikey and hang out. This was full of awesome, because we talked for a long time, briefly saw Candy, Ryan, and Val, and then went to the Cladaugh for beer and some "snacks". On the way to taking Mikey home we stopped at Walmart so I could get my pokemans and then ended up hanging out at Mikey's place. E geeked at Mikey for a bit about martial arts and then Mikey told him that he couldn't just talk about it. Poor Mikey, he had no idea what he was asking out of E. He wanted to spar and he got more than he bargained for. It was a lot like watching an older cat with a new puppy. Puppy wanted to play a lot and Kitty just decided to let him and be patient. I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long time.
So we had two days of dojo and two days of hanging out and lots of fun. I ended up going to bed feeling weird last night, I think it was me not wanting to go to bed and miss out on more awesome.
I have to say, I adore the people at the dojo. The sensei is more than happy to answer questions and some of the other students are chatty and friendly. I really enjoy watching and interacting with the people there, we'll see where it goes. It also helps E a lot, because I see the stress just kind of disappear while he's there. The Muslim sensei worked him hard, while Sensei Mike tends to be a little more mindful of technique and the give and take relationship of sparring. It's been a learning experience for all that we've only gone three times. It's made me start looking at things differently and I'm enjoying that.
There's a few people that I really wish I could do something for right now, but I'm kind of just stepping back and watching for the moment. I know there are problems in certain lives that I don't know if I should step forward and say something. It's also hard to know in text whether someone is just bitching or if maybe there is a true complaint and they really need help. I figure that if someone really needs me, they'll reach out and tell me. I have to trust that the people that I care about know it and that I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, 'cause it has very nearly been a casualty in the past couple of weeks and I'm feeling rather unsure of myself at the moment. So if I don't comment on something, it's not because I don't care, but because I don't want to bother anyone.
Friday, E went to go to work, and the car wouldn't start again. Downstairs neighbor wasn't home, so he decided to work from home, until he could get another jump and then drive down to an autoparts store and buy a new battery. Jump was gotten, then we went to the store and proceeded to have fun getting the battery, getting the old one out, the new one in, and putting the second CA plate on the car. After that we went to In N Out burger, and went home. A couple hours later we made our way to the dojo.
We got to the dojo too early and E took part in the jiu jitsu class. The sensei is a tough old man, and decided to see what E was made of. Around seven the class, minus myself watching and E, went for their prayers. It was the first time I had heard a Muslim prayer and I was pleased to be able to listen.
The rest of the evening was E taking part in classes and me watching and finally coming home.
Saturday was more classes - aikido and sword. Then we went to the local mall and walked around and around and finally settled to eat at PF Changs.
Sunday we went to pick up Mikey and hang out. This was full of awesome, because we talked for a long time, briefly saw Candy, Ryan, and Val, and then went to the Cladaugh for beer and some "snacks". On the way to taking Mikey home we stopped at Walmart so I could get my pokemans and then ended up hanging out at Mikey's place. E geeked at Mikey for a bit about martial arts and then Mikey told him that he couldn't just talk about it. Poor Mikey, he had no idea what he was asking out of E. He wanted to spar and he got more than he bargained for. It was a lot like watching an older cat with a new puppy. Puppy wanted to play a lot and Kitty just decided to let him and be patient. I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long time.
So we had two days of dojo and two days of hanging out and lots of fun. I ended up going to bed feeling weird last night, I think it was me not wanting to go to bed and miss out on more awesome.
I have to say, I adore the people at the dojo. The sensei is more than happy to answer questions and some of the other students are chatty and friendly. I really enjoy watching and interacting with the people there, we'll see where it goes. It also helps E a lot, because I see the stress just kind of disappear while he's there. The Muslim sensei worked him hard, while Sensei Mike tends to be a little more mindful of technique and the give and take relationship of sparring. It's been a learning experience for all that we've only gone three times. It's made me start looking at things differently and I'm enjoying that.
There's a few people that I really wish I could do something for right now, but I'm kind of just stepping back and watching for the moment. I know there are problems in certain lives that I don't know if I should step forward and say something. It's also hard to know in text whether someone is just bitching or if maybe there is a true complaint and they really need help. I figure that if someone really needs me, they'll reach out and tell me. I have to trust that the people that I care about know it and that I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, 'cause it has very nearly been a casualty in the past couple of weeks and I'm feeling rather unsure of myself at the moment. So if I don't comment on something, it's not because I don't care, but because I don't want to bother anyone.
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